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Xena still tromps him. Despite his obvious losses and even loss of idenity, he doesn't have the same burdens that Xena does.  Hercules is the ideal hero. He's uncorrupted and he always does the right thing. He may be half-mortal but he was never meant to be of humanity. He was always meant to rise above humanity and human weakness.  His emotional scars are flesh wounds compared to the rest of humanity especially Xena.

Unlike Hercules, Xena is of humanity. She lives with the sins of her past whereas Hercules is sinless. We all know her back story. We all know her crimes.  Xena was a warlord. Her past-self ignited the creation of one of the most terrifying villains in the Xena/Hercverse ie Callisto. As we all know, Callisto not only almost destroyed the soul of her best friend but she tormented everyone in her path in the name of Xena.  To add more torment to Xena's soul, she is denied a gateway to redemption because she is denied a chance to "start over" through her children.  She is denied the chance to raise her children. She gives up Solan. Years later, just as it looks as if she make amends with child neglect,  her son dies not knowing (at the time) his mother. She's given a "second chance" only to overcome even more hardships.  Again, she's denied the chance to raise her child only to find out her child grew up to be twice as horrible as she was. The list goes on...  Xena is a much darker show because she doesn't have daddy to make things better or the luxury of collapsing behind daddy and mommy issues. Xena is faced with the consequences of her actions every episode.  She pays for them heavily every time she picks up a sword, every time Gabrielle fights and every time she looks at her reflection while Hercules goes into battle with a clear conscious. Perhaps, it is this consciousness that is  the underlining tragedy of Xena and Hercules's legendary journeys. 

Hercules "unchains" Xena's heart by expressing compassion and love. However,  by "unchaining" her heart, he unchained her consciousness too. Compassion and love were darkened by a bruised knowingness.  When faced with compassion and love, she not only recognized her own cruelty and hatred but more importantly,  she realized that because of these revelations, she's doomed to spend the rest of her life and after-life seeking redemption she doesn't deserve.  Furthermore,  Hercules goes to bed comforted by his ability uphold the ideals of humanity, Xena goes to bed with the burden of these ideals.