Title: Hopeless
Author: Aresbitch
Summary: Back to normal.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, just playing in the sandbox.
Notes: I've had this in my head for a while but was inspired by a thread at XOC to finally put it down to 'paper.' AU of Gabrielle's Hope.
~~
Xena's unpacking the supplies they've managed to gather. Out of the corner of her eye she sees Xena cross back and forth in front of their fire.
There's heat from the well tended flames, she can feel the glow against her cheek.
She can't feel the warmth.
The ach has moved again, from her arms to her belly.
She rubs the spot, over and over, massaging the flesh that remains stretched.
"Gabrielle?" Xena's voice intrudes and Gabrielle looks up from her study of the dirt at her feet and gazes at the other woman. "Does your belly hurt?"
She blinks at the question, considers it.
"No, Xena," she replies softly.
Xena's mouth hitches up into a semblance of a smile, and she glances away again, down.
"Good," she says finally. Then she slaps her knees. "Well, it's late," she continues as she rises to her feet. "Let's eat and then get some rest. It's a long way back to Greece."
Greece is a thousand or more leagues from Britannia. From this strange forest with the foreign noises and smells.
From -
Silence reins again and Gabrielle's hand maps the ache with gentle fingers. Belly, breasts, arms. The side of her face where she rested it against Hope's cheek.
Her chest.
There's a wound there, still bleeding, weeping.
Her child.
A tumble of fur falls in front of her eyes, and she looks up again. Xena is gazing down at her, offering her warmth.
Gabrielle thinks it will take more than fur to warm her now.
"Let's get some rest, okay?" Xena asks softly.
She nods and gets to her feet like an old woman would, gingerly, mindful of the aches that glow under her flesh like the flames of a candle.
But instead of settling down next to Xena, Gabrielle takes her useless covers and circles the camp fire, settling down on the other side.
Xena watches her silently.
Gabrielle pulls the fur up over her shoulders, and rubs her breasts again.
Sharp pain runs down the length of the muscle and vein, and she knows, from when the married women in Potadeia used to talk around their turnips and weaving, that she's getting her milk in.
Milk for Hope.
"She was evil, Gabrielle," a whisper carries across the flames. "A vessel. I had to."
"Yes, Xena," she says quietly.
When she closes her eyes, she sees Xena's sword again, plunging down again, into the heart of her baby again.
The helpless little cry that followed.
Hope.
There is no hope left.
~end~
