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I don't think Eve ruined X/G for me - but she didn't really make it better either. Like so much of S5, she was just another thing that was started and could have created some really interesting things/circumstances, but the ball was dropped. And then in S6, they let adult Eve degrade into a joke, but that was more the detriment to her, than to Xena or Gabrielle.

For me, I was disappointed that the Hope parallels weren't brought up by anybody in regards to pregnant Xena or baby Eve - or how it might be affecting Gabrielle. It's cool that she just shoves that all aside to be there for Xena, and it's in character, but I don't believe that there weren't any issues she was burying.

The lack of chemistry between adult Eve and Gabrielle isn't a problem and it actually makes sense to me. It's kind of a long and involved explanation, but will give it a go.

Okay, so Xena would say Eve was their daughter, but her actions didn't always support that. It could just be bad writing, but on the other hand, I don't find it all that out of character for Xena - not that she'd do it on purpose. She does tend to want to take care of everything herself, though. Makes it a little hard for Gabrielle to really feel like she was a parent to Eve.

On top of that, she's still gonna feel guilty about Solon. She and Xena may have worked things out, but guilt is still gonna be there and probably a little bit of worry about being responsible for another kid of Xena's. Or any kid, really. And then they don't talk about any of this, so it just festers.

Then there's Hope. Now, I think she was just a vessel for evil, but Gabrielle doesn't. She may have come to realize that Hope was evil (whether she thinks Hope started that way or not) and needed to be stopped, but there's still going to be guilt there too. Even more so because she wonders if she could have saved Hope - and probably feels like she failed her.

Oh, and the little matter of the fact she tried to kill Hope twice, and set her up to die the third and final time. Needed to be done, yes, but it sure can't be good for the psyche to have to live with doing that to your child (which is how she views Hope, even if I don't). Certainly not for the type of person Gabrielle is and in my thinking, she's doesn't feel she's a good mother at all.

All of these things create distance. She cares for Eve, and would die or kill to protect her, but there's still a distance created by fear and guilt. Not helped by Xena being oblivious to Gabrielle's turmoil.
Now, I think all of this could have been overcome, given time. Xena would have eventually clued in to what was going on and all that. And Gabrielle's own caring and nurturing nature would have also broke down many of the barriers she'd put up. But they weren't given time.

Fast forward 25 years and all the drama with Livia. She tries to save Xena's daughter, to reach her and make a connection. And she fails. Not only does she not save Eve - but Joxer is killed because of it. Not really how I see it, but it makes sense to me it's how Gabrielle would see it.

More distance and guilt and turmoil created. Even with Eve no longer evil, that distance is still there. Plus - they don't know each other, they're strangers. All the history doesn't help close that distance in this case.
They care for each other, but it's more because of Xena and their importance to her, than any personal connection.

It all makes sense in my head, anyway.