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Oh, wow, you give me a chance to get on one of my favorite rants too. I agree with you, JSolo, that confidence is more attractive than any kind of artificial beauty. And yes, DOT, women (and men) torturing themselves in the name of beauty is nothing new. (LOL, Jenna says that since she wants period costumes at her wedding, if I'm in the wedding party, I'm wearing a corset. Since there's no way I'd stay away from one of my best friends' weddings (if it ever happens; she's not dating at the moment), I figured I'd probably have to wear the corset...so I threw a pillow at her.) Unfortunately, though, I think the things our society gets women to do to ourselves are more dangerous than those society has done in the past.

I have firsthand experience with that kind of pressure. I was anorexic when I was eighteen. And it started exactly the way you described it--society telling you to be a size 0 (or to weigh X and do X amount of exercise)--and you must be a really strong person, DeborahKizzy, to have told those expectations to get lost before they took over your life! (I tried! Um, I'm very disciplined. I'm also not good at taking my own opinions as, as important as other people's. So it seemed like society's standards were there one minute, and the next minute they were my whole world. It wasn't fun.) I'm doing fine now (I've maintained a consistent, healthy weight for more than two years, and I don't let exercise take over my life), but it has left me pretty sensitive to society's expectations. I don't watch a lot of TV, and I don't read fashion magazines at all. Physical attractiveness depends so much on the time and culture anyway--there was a time when thin was not considered attractive, and I hope that time is coming back (for everyone's sake!!) This is one of the reasons I've enjoyed this thread so much! I think that the way to fight society's expectations is to do it together, and to grow to know each other together. I like getting to know people online first too. It's weird--physical beauty (for me, but I think for a lot of people) depends so much on people's hearts, style of conversation, little quirks and interests, etc. I think Asian is attractive because I love Jenna so much, for example (not the other way around). Here online (or through the written word in any medium), that kind of beauty is in a form that is so much more vulnerable, so much more on the surface. I like it when relationships can begin that way, and then when I do meet you all in the 3d world, I can just put faces to the people I already know and love.

Oh, I love those little mandarin oranges!

I like that, Grrlromeo: our society tells us to be stick thin, but then it tells us to eat junk. Really, it should tell us to be confident in the beauty we already have, and to enjoy everything in moderation (including carrot sticks). (I don't like the taste of those baby carrots the grocery store sells. So I buy the 69 cent bags of whole carrots, then peel them, and cut them if I want to take the trouble, if not just eat them whole. They're really good.)

You're definitely not alone, DeborahKizzy. I love the way we can talk about anything on here...and physical insecurity is one of those things that I think everyone feels but it's hard to admit (and that goes for both genders). Oh, and good luck to you, GWAC! It sounds like you're going about it in the exact right way--wanting to lose weight for yourself and not for anything else, and eating sensibly.