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Well, the first one that springs to *my* mind is Buffy/Spike, although in their case it may well not so much have been a battle of equals, because I always felt Buffy didn't show Spike *nearly* the same level of respect that Xena showed Ares as a general rule. Even when Ares was at his worst, Xena still understood that, understood him, respected him, treated him with honor (except for deceiving him, we'll ignore that for the moment) and reacted. Buffy showed Spike very little of that same tenderness, that same warmth, that comfort with their interaction level as Xena showed Ares. Buffy's still too wary, I think. Yes, many of the same constituent themes are in place, older, seductive male with a woman deeply drawn to him though she acknowledges that being with him is not exactly the path she wants her life to take, violence=passion, etc., both figures are more powerful than ordinary mortals and so are not easily understood by the collective society around them--This all may be true...however, such aspects never quite "feel" as right between the vampire and his slayer, somehow.
It's always very much a game between Xena and Ares, a "sparring match" rather than a true "beatdown," as it were. Witness the BtVS episode "Dead Things," for instance. Buffy committed *true* cruelties against Spike merely for the sake of emotional venting--here's the kicker: she thought of him as a lesser being. And she was completely lucid (albeit severely depressed) at the time! The only time Xena has *ever* comitted true violence against Ares, and this is not even venting the same kind of self-rage Buffy showed, is on only two occasions, both of which involved "out-of-mind" experiences, for lack of a better term--Once, she was crazy ("The Furies"), and once, he was ("Coming Home"), and the latter incident was to help bring Ares back to lucidity!
Not the same kind of violence-vs.-respect levels, etc. levels from both parties respectively, though similar elements are there.
It's rather like a black-and-white photograph contrasted with the same one in color: identical composition, true, staging, lighting, etc., but something, that essential something, is always missing to make it "look right."
WOW, that was surprisingly long, elaborate and involved for this time of the morning, especially considering I haven't been to *bed*! LOL...
I'll have to see if I can think of any others, but the "bickering" elements remind me strongly of "Bones"/Booth from the TV series "Bones," and the "teasing seduction"/"keep-you-at-arm's-length" elements remind me of Thomas/Catherine from The Thomas Crown Affair (The 1999 remake--the '60's one sucked! LOL )