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Hmmm, I remember your lj posts on the subject, too, Jollyape. I think what you were talking about there is a kind of in the moment restlessness, where you can't define what your head is telling you. You just know there's a message you're supposed to get, but you can't figure out what it is.

I've experienced both the "in the moment" types of restlessness and the global type of restlessness that you were describing, Helareyn. I am sorry they made those kinds of promises. Sometimes I think that's the worst kind of promise to make and then withdraw--a promise of someplace to make a difference, a promise of a useful kind of work and a path for your life. I used to get so mad that my church pushed people so hard to be missionaries, when I knew from talking to Dad (a former missionary) that actually very few people have the right skill set to do formal foreign missions. In my book, you don't tell everyone that this is the highest, most fulfilling duty of man that everyone can do and everyone ought to want to do...when that's not the truth and not everyone can do it. I pray you find your path.

I usually feel "in the moment" kind of restlessness when I have a need I'm still hoping to have met. The last time I can remember was after I had a birthday celebration with some of my close friends. Another dear friend from out of town was there. I love these people, and I can't imagine my life without them. But I also sometimes feel younger, cut-off, alien, if that makes sense, and that was one of those nights when I felt especially cut off. I felt ungrateful, and lonely without understanding why. So I stopped in the St. Tim's chapel and cried a bit, then I went home and wrote a poem in my livejournal, and then I spent a delightful couple of hours IM-ing with Snikz. It was one of those nights where I kept saying "I'm going to regret this in the morning" (since I had to get up and babysit at 6 AM), but yet 2 AM, 3 AM, passed and I still felt like there was something missing. When I finally wasn't lonely anymore, then I could turn off my computer and go to sleep. I find that I have less of those moments as time goes on and I become more secure in my relationships.

Long-term restlessness--the kind you mentioned, HelAreyn, where you have to change everything all the time--that's more difficult for me to define. I think that we're all searching for a place to call home. I know that my life took a dramatic turn for the better when I started feeling like I had a home here in Arizona. No longer did I think, "there's nothing holding me here...but nothing calling me anywhere else either..." because now there are so many things holding me here, that I don't feel restless in it anymore. I don't know...it's one of those things that you cope with when you don't have, and then you rejoice when you do have, and try to help those who are still searching.

Anyway, I hope that answers your question, Jollyape? It's neat that you don't feel restless, LK...hopefully not stressed too often either!