Banner and Forum Design By: Aurora Goddess
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 Drawing Blood |
Caption This: Locked Up & Tied Down |
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Moderator Four Star General
Posts: 4251 (02/25/07 4:50 PM) |
 http://mikes-images.com/eps/luatd/images/luatd_5_mq_004sd.jpg  http://mikes-images.com/eps/luatd/images/luatd_5_mq_029sd.jpg  http://mikes-images.com/eps/luatd/images/luatd_5_mq_046sd.jpg  http://mikes-images.com/eps/luatd/images/luatd_5_mq_082sd.jpg  http://mikes-images.com/eps/luatd/images/luatd_5_mq_097sd.jpg  http://mikes-images.com/eps/luatd/images/luatd_5_mq_135sd.jpg  Forum Host and Master of Caption This |
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Zaudeen |
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Commander
Posts: 960 (02/25/07 11:06 PM) |
Someone hurry and caption this already. I want to laugh.
  "It's intoxicating isn't it? "Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole." Visit My Site: Xena:: Gallery Realm |
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Drawing Blood |
Re: Caption This: Locked Up & Tied Down | ||
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Moderator Four Star General
Posts: 4251 (02/25/07 11:16 PM) |
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Drawing Blood |
Re: Caption This: Locked Up & Tied Down | ||
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Moderator Four Star General
Posts: 4251 (02/25/07 11:28 PM) |
Gabrielle: "Always wondered how hard it is to kill a few people with this. If Xena can do it all the time, I think I can pull it off at least once." *the next day* Xena: "Since when did you get so good at giving massages? And where is my chakram?" Gabrielle (silently): "Damn, she never misses a thing!" Guard (off-camera): "I got your shamrock right here!" Gabrielle: "I'm going to jail for killing nineteen people? I thought there were twenty at the bar... dammit, I knew someone got away!" Xena: "Any reason why you're arresting me? I didn't kill those people." Guards: "Your weapon = your fault."  Xena: "Why, you little b*tch. You better pray we stay in jail for the rest of our lives." *the day after that*  Guard: "Gabrielle, you are to be executed for your crimes. Any last words?" Gabrielle: "So I killed a few innocent people? Big deal. And if you think a hanging's gonna stop me... obviously you haven't read any of my scrolls." Forum Host and Master of Caption This |
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 LadyKate63 |
Caption This: Locked Up & Tied Down | ||
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Administrator Moderator Olympian
Posts: 85134 (02/25/07 11:37 PM) Xena Studies Ph.D. |
 These are great, DB!  (Btw, do you want to add links for the pics you added in the 2nd post?)  Icons by Cila For every complex question there is a simple answer. And it's wrong. -- H.L. Mencken Visit Xena Online Community * See my artwork and fanfiction at The Muse's Corner |
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XenAres1 |
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Four Star General
Posts: 4971 (02/26/07 2:33 AM) Xena's Little Bitch |
 That was great DB!! "your weapon= your fault"  "The Chinese called him a 'shooting star.' A shooting star goes up and makes an impression and then they go, but are never forgotten." Trisha Downie, New Idea Magazine |
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Elfrieda |
Caption This: Locked Up & Tied Down | ||
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Olympian
Posts: 11892 (02/26/07 3:48 AM) Miss Amphipolis |
Oh, you just knew somebody was gonna go there. So I'm going there.
 Gab: Um, Xena, sweetie, I've been doing our taxes, and I just noticed this receipt for . . . 200 dinars worth of "merchandise" from Salmoneus' Naughty Dominatrix Emporium. Care to explain?  Xena (trying on the "equipment" that has just been delivered): Uhhh . . . no? Gab: XENA!!! X: All right. *tries to look sincere* The truth is, Gabrielle, I've been asked by the Prince of . . . Dominatria . . . to go under cover as his personal bodyguard, and I have to enter the palace in chains so that no one will suspect that I'm really working for him. Later that night, after Xena has left . . .  G: Going on a special mission, huh? Without this? Xena is so full of @#%$! . . . The next day, Gabrielle finds Xena at the "palace."  G (offscreen): Xena! I knew it! X: Er, it's not what it looks like! I swear! These boys were just getting ready to give me a ride. Men: Yeee-heeaaah!!! The ride of her life! G: . . . X: TO THE PALACE!! Ecret-say ission-may, remember? G: . . . X: Fine. I admit it. Are you happy? Is it my fault if you don't like the kinky stuff? . . . The next day . . .  G: And then what do you say? X: I say . . . I love you just as you are you're my shining star I could never live without you you're so beautiful yadda yadda yadda. Now can we get on with it? G: Yes, pookie. Just as soon as I've finished with this adorable heart tattoo that says "Xena loves Gabrielle 4 evah!" . . . And then the next day . . . G: Heh. Xena doesn't think I like the kinky stuff, eh? If she only knew what these ropes are for . . .  |
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LadyKate63 |
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Administrator Moderator Olympian
Posts: 85134 (02/26/07 3:59 AM) Xena Studies Ph.D. |
!!!!!!!! That's great, Elfrieda!  Icons by Cila For every complex question there is a simple answer. And it's wrong. -- H.L. Mencken Visit Xena Online Community * See my artwork and fanfiction at The Muse's Corner |
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JustSayNoToNutbread |
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Administrator Moderator Four Star General
Posts: 4529 (02/26/07 4:01 AM) Destroyer of Nutbread
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"Pookie"...OMG...I will never recover.
 Nutty
Live in the gutter, die in the gutter.  |
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WarriorforXena |
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Two Star General
Posts: 2847 (02/26/07 4:23 AM) |
Elfrieda
You inspire me to post....which I will do later  The all powerful Army of Xena! Roll that beautiful AoX footage!
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Drawing Blood |
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Moderator Four Star General
Posts: 4251 (02/26/07 5:45 AM) |
Wonderful work, Elfrieda!
Forum Host and Master of Caption This |
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xenawp7706 |
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Royal
Posts: 7965 (02/26/07 6:58 AM) |
That was so funny. Thanks
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LadyKate63 |
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Administrator Moderator Olympian
Posts: 85134 (02/26/07 7:34 AM) Xena Studies Ph.D. |
And now, girls and boys, we bring you the originally scripted ending to In Sickness & in Hell....
Salesman: Holds still, young lady... All right, that oughta do it. Guaranteed to kill all your lice in three days or less. Payment upon results. Xena: I still say I don't have lice. Gabrielle (off-camera): Yeah, yeah, whatever, Xena. At this rate, I won't be surprised if your hair is infested with rats pretty soon.  *mental image conjured by Gabrielle* Xena: Hah! Look what just dropped out of my hair! Gabrielle, *thinking*: Ewwwwwwwwww! Xena: All right, Gabrielle. I admit it. I've been in denial. I have a major problem with lice and I'm glad you forced me to do something about it. Thanks for being a true friend. Gabrielle *off-camera*: Awww.... I love you, Xena. *Five days later* Xena *off-camera*: What is it, Gabrielle? Gabrielle: Xe -- Xena -- it's the bill for your special Lice-Be-Gone collar. It says 500 dinars. Xena: WHAT! 500 dinars! But you said the ad you saw at the street fair said 20 dinars! Gabrielle: Apparently, I didn't read the fine script. It's 20 dinars for the collar itself and 480 for the anti-lice cream it's coated with. Xena, what are we going to do? We don't have that kind of money. Xena: What are you doing, may I ask? Gabrielle: Just wanted to check if maybe there were a few of your little bug friends left in there. That ad said guaranteed results or your dinars back. Xena: Well? Gabrielle: Not a single one. You know, maybe we can go on a cross-country armed robbery spree like the two chicks in that famous Sophocles play, "Thelmia and Lois." Xena: Wait ... didn't that have some kind of tragic ending? *Mental images conjured by Gabrielle* Xena: Well, thanks a lot for being my guiding light, pal! I'll be thinking about you for the next thirty years! Gabrielle: Before you go ahead with this, I would like to go on record as stating my opposition to the death penalty. It's state-sanctioned violence and it does nothing but promote revenge... Gabrielle, *thinking*: Nope. Bad idea. Gabrielle: Well, okay, that was not a good idea. I wonder how many dinars this would fetch on the world-famous Ebayus marketplace... Xena, *off-camera*: Don't even think about it. I'll get a job as a ditchdigger first! Xena *mutters*: Triple pay for nightwork in bad weather, huh ... I'll get you for this, Miss I-Didn't-Read-the-Fine-Script. Gabrielle *off-camera, shouting from indoors*: Well, it was your lice in the first place! Xena: I -- did -- NOT -- have -- lice! |
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WarriorforXena |
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Two Star General
Posts: 2847 (02/26/07 7:52 AM) |
famous Sophicles play Lady K
Excellent work!The all powerful Army of Xena! Roll that beautiful AoX footage!
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xDuste |
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Warrior
Posts: 413 (02/26/07 8:01 AM) |
They are all great!  |
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XenAres1 |
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Four Star General
Posts: 4971 (02/26/07 8:47 AM) Xena's Little Bitch |
Elfreida and LadyKate!
Hilarious work ladies! "The Chinese called him a 'shooting star.' A shooting star goes up and makes an impression and then they go, but are never forgotten." Trisha Downie, New Idea Magazine |
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Drawing Blood |
Re: Caption This: Locked Up & Tied Down | ||
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Moderator Four Star General
Posts: 4251 (02/26/07 11:15 AM) |
Very funny, LadyKate! Gross... but funny nonetheless!
Forum Host and Master of Caption This |
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Delicious Denial |
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One Star General
Posts: 1782 (02/26/07 8:21 PM) |
Funny stuff!
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XenaRulzSam |
Caption This: Locked Up & Tied Down | ||
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One Star General
Posts: 1368 (02/27/07 1:17 AM) |
LK!! That was great!!! -------------------------
Xena Rulz! Avatar credit to Lucia N. |
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Elfrieda |
Caption This: Locked Up & Tied Down | ||
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Olympian
Posts: 11892 (02/27/07 2:47 AM) Miss Amphipolis |
Very imaginative, LK! |
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Aurora2731 |
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One Star General
Posts: 1558 (02/27/07 3:16 AM) Xena's Nympho Soldier |
Xena, "Will you hurry up...sheesh!" Gabrielle, "Hey I'm not the one that can't fit into her armor anymore. So be quiet! This leather is tough!" Xena (grinning), "Yeah, it is tough. You know you like it" Gabrielle, "Get your mind out of the dungeon, you perv or I"m not going to fix this for you and then where will you be!" Xena (mumbling), "Naked just how you like it.." Xena (off screen pulling on her armor), "AH, Thanks gab I always new you were good with your hands....didn't know you could be this good." Gab, "Yahuh, hey come and see this? Uh-oh your not gonna like this." Xena, "What is it?" Gab, "UGH! Apparently Joxer has been spreading rumors again about you." Xena (off screen pulling on her boots), "What?! That little creep. Next time I see that little worm I'm gonna-" Gab, " I second that Xena. You know this could give men the wrong impressions." Xena, "Tell me about it. Lets head for town." Gab, "Are you sure? Maybe we should lay low until this whole rumor thing dies down I mean you should really read what it says about you." Xena (slapping on her breastplates), "What you don't think I can handle a few men? Ye with little faith." Gab, "Are you gonna read this?" Xena, "Nah it's all garbage lets head out." Gab, "What was that about having faith?" Xena, "I have my limits you know!" Gab, "I certainly haven't seen them yet." Xena, "Yeah you better believe it-babe" Gab, "Oh please..that-last night was a fluke. One time in a life time Xena." Xena, "Yeah don't pretend you didn't like my limitlessness..." **Guards are smiling and snickering** Xena to the guards, "Hey shut up!" Xena turns to gabby," Why don't you dot he bard thing and get me out of here ok!" Gab, "I don't know Xena, I think you need to suffer a bit with your dirty mouth!" Xena yelling as the men drag her away, " Last time I checked you Liked my mouth DAMMIT!" Gabby thinking, " hmmm....maybe I should get her out, I mean she does have her uses and for her to go away so suddenly well, she'd just go to waste. Yeah with her free I can put her to good use. I think I'll just let her suffer a bit, then I'll do my mad bard skills on the brothel men."  Brothel Eunuchs, "Hey Make sure you get nice and wet and muddy! Our patrons like dirty Brunettes!" **Guards snicker** Xena, " You gods be damned pieces of-oh your so gonna pay Gabrielle! No more limitless nights for you. Nu-uh honey your gonna be seeing my limits when I get my hands on you."  Banner Courtesy of PointOfNoReturn ENTER THE AOX |
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