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I was going to say that as a shipper I obviously would have found their relationship lacking without the sexual element; but of course I wouldn't have known what I was missing, would I?

To answer the first part of your question: Sure, I could see Ares as a tempter without the sexual side -- though of course the temptation would not have been dramatized in nearly as alluring a way. There could have been more emphasis on the warrior side and the lust for conquest. Maybe we could have seen more situations like Ties That Bind in which Ares tries to get Xena to fight a battle that has nothing to do with the Greater Good. Or he could try to unleash her dark side while fighting for a good cause. Imagine The Price + Ares, with Ares counteracting Gabrielle's influence.

The question is, without the sexual element, could such a relationship have the emotional depth of the Xena/Ares relationship as we saw it on the show? Because to me what made their relationship interesting was not just (or not primarily) the sexual side of it, but the fact that this god who generally sees human beings as nothing but pawns in his game starts to care about Xena as a person. In retrospect it's evident as early as Ties That Bind when Ares can't kill Xena, and is quite shaken by his own response to the situation. It's pretty clearly not just a matter of him having great respect for her as a warrior and a worthy adversary.

Could Ares have developed this emotional connection with Xena if he wasn't "in lust" and then in love with her? I can't really see Ares as the kind of person who'd care deeply for someone (man or woman) as a platonic friend (and I think it would be problematic to portray the GoW as being any different in that respect). I think the only scenario in which I can see an interesting, emotionally rich, but non-sexual relationship between Xena and Ares is if he is her father. I think he's capable of a paternal relationship with a woman -- actually I think his interaction with Livia becomes paternal and desexualized once he learns she's Xena's child.

As for a generally desexualized Ares -- well, Ares wasn't a particularly sexual being on Hercules most of the time, except in Armageddon Now (which is really more like a semi-Xena ep anyway). He was also a much less interesting and much more one-dimensional character. Though I'm not sure they couldn't have developed the character without the sexuality.

Haephestus said:

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And Ares' sexuality is one of his personality traits. Ares was seductive from his very first appearance and it wasn't restricted to Xena. There was certain an element of seduction in his dealings with his other potential "Generals" like the warlord of the week in "Ties That Bind" and "Dirty Half Dozen". While it wasn't as explicit as his interactions with Xena, Callisto, Mavican, Livia, etc, there still seemed to be an element of seduction/sexuality in all of Ares' interactions with his "followers".

Yeah, that's quite true. And what's interesting is that this was generally not the case on Hercules. Again with the exception of Armageddon Now and Ares' interaction with Callisto there (and with Warlord Xena in the flashbacks). Even when Ares tried to hit on Nebula and Morrigan in ... what was it? Redemption? it came off as more comical than sexual or sensual.

Actually there is one exception I can think of -- the Golden Hind arc, where Ares was scary and seductive rather than buffoonish. Actually ... what was weird about the Hind arc on H:TLJ was that Ares had a seductive dynamic with Serena, but his interaction with Xena when they briefly share the same space in Judgment Day is completely desexualized.

Oh, Ares certainly wasn't portrayed as nonsexual on H:TLJ. He fathered a child with Nemesis (Evander), and Hercules mentioned that Ares has fathered "thousands" of children he doesn't care about. He also, as I said in my previous post, hit on Morrigan and Nebula, without much success. Oh, and he got it on with AU Nebula in Stranger and Stranger. What I'm saying is, he didn't really seem to ooze sexuality and seduction the way he did on X:WP -- maybe because on H:TLJ his primary interaction was with Herc.

Of course, other people may not see it the same way I do, since there's a good amount of H:TLJ-based Ares-centric fanfic whose authors definitely find Ares sexual enough.