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At the very least, you'd think that in AITST Hades would have tipped Xena off to the fact that her kid had chosen to be in Tartarus. Though admittedly at that point, TPTB themselves didn't know about it yet.

I do think the Greek gods, in mythology, were very strongly committed to the idea that death -- for mortals -- should be final. (In contrast to the Xena PTB. ) Generally they did not intervene to reverse it even for their favorite mortals. There's a darkly funny moment at the end of Euripides' Phaedra where Hippolytes has been fatally wounded thanks to the machinations of Aphrodite, and as he lies dying and his father Theseus is grieving over him, Hippolytes' patron goddess Artemis appears and says something along the lines of, "Well, I'm not allowed to bring him back to life, but rest assured, I'll pay Aphrodite back by killing one of her favorite mortals." (Umm... thanks, Artie! That would make me feel heaps better if it was my son...) In The Iliad, one of Zeus' half-mortal sons is killed in battle at Troy and Zeus is tempted to restore him to life, but Hera basically tells him off, saying that next thing you know every god will pick a favorite mortal he or she will want to shield from death. Aphrodite is allowed a sort of exception when she grieves for her slain lover Adonis (I think because Hades and Persephone are moved by her grief), but even then she is allowed to have him back among the living only for a third of each year.

I'm not sure if this mindset was due to a general sense that the rules must be respected, or to the view that mortals need to know their place. You know, let a few cheat death and next thing you know all hell will break loose.

I keep forgetting, was it the old or the new Hades in AITST?