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Greetings Chakram Goddess,

First you will notice I never comment in the "Lounge" topic as a norm but I read often. You've hit upon a subject I hope my commenting simply helps because I in no way want to influence or direct you in any manner in your relationship with your mother.

That said.......mother's are "protective" -yes. To protect they will "manipulate" but do not do so in the bad sense of the meaning instead to direct/influence the best they can what they believe is best for you (irritating but its the right motive just the wrong approach often).

Will I ever be allowed to be an adult and make my own decisions?

Answer yes you will but....(or golly the dreaded but..) as a mother of boys older than you (had kids when I was 10 ya know *grin*-not...) the road to independence lies in your own hands, not in your parents hands. Only you can establish independence, parents don't dish it out ---they just don't. Money isn't the sole proof of independence because there is also the factor of under my roof, my rules to be considered. Actual independence is being on your own and I do mean on your own whereby you merge into to making every decision surrounding your life. There's a lot more to real independence than birthday age and saved finances- a lot more.

As for merely traveling to a convention or meeting people you know only from the internet of course a legally age person has the right to make such decision but again another but... it reads to me (and I only can go by your posted comments so understand I dont know all your circumstances) your parents can maintain to have the right of disapproval. The question then becomes I would think of your having the position in life to entrust they will love you regardless of things you choose to do as an adult; if you're still dependent on parents the repercussion of going against their wishes is evidence you haven't achieved "independence" as I describe and if not, again repercussions of expressing independence anyway.

And of course as a parent I cannot recommend lying (I prefer up front -for in the long run lying damages the trust factor for a long, long period of time moreso now that you are older.)

It's not wise for me to suggest you ways you make your mother understand especially since you're clear she wont waiver on the too much money issue and no matter if you convince her how much Xena means to you -money will mean more from her point of view. I'm not convinced trying to change her thinking about meeting people from online will work well either because I'm guessing she simply doesn't want to see you travel far from home regardless of meeting up with others you bombard her with all the visual and verbal accolates you can muster. . There's simply too many horror stories out there about internet people but as well horror stories of traveling away from home at a young age with known friend even in groups (I'd mention the Natalie Holloway case as one, a young girl with a whole group of her classmates and look what happened on a trip --oh sure it was Aruba but it was an away trip none-the-less). That is what is cause for horrific fear in mother's especially for daughters (maybe a bit less for son's vs daughters I would guess).

If your mother thinks cost for you is too much the travel cost of two won't fly well with your mother either.Only if you can find a way between now and 2009 to earn, make or come-up with the full cost of you and she both to travel so that you don't have to touch your savings ----just money you specifically earn or make proving it means that much to you do I think your mother "might" waiver in her stance about the convention.

So as a mother plus unlike your mother I'm a Xena fanatic (fan) I'd love for you to go experience a convention, meet other Xena fans you've talked to here especially. But also as a mother ---my concerns would for someone your age not be so different than hers and only changeable by action on your part as evidence it means so much you put in the work or whatever to remove cost concerns of using your savings and travel concerns to offer to pay her way to accompany you. All the video's of friends you'll meet and the special experience even the time she thinks you waste on an "obsession" are minor obstacles---so focus on the major obstacle (money), going on a trip alone and then and only then ---would the other obstacles not seem so so impossible ---certainly a whole lot more minor than they sound now.

Sorry if this didn't help---I just wanted to comment (feel free to use it as food for thought or disregard if its of no help at all).

No matter the outcome for you, I do sincerely wish you ---- Good Luck !

You're welcome ChakramGoddess,

Well I did say ="the road to independence lies in your own hands, not in your parents hands."
You say="tell her I understand how she feels, but I've thought this through and I'm going to do it."

So....Kudo's to you friend ! and again ---best wishes/good luck