Yuku free message boards

Aw, what a sweet offer, GWAC.

I love there friendship and I do think your right that everyone is looking for that connection there and its probably far too much to ask to conect to someone that powerfully both sexually and spiritually.

Just out of curiosity, do you consider yourself a subber or a romantic friendshipper, then? (I certainly don't want to restart the whole debate about what does or doesn't make someone a subtexter--I think in this context, I just want to know how you classify yourself, if you do.)

I can relate because when I saw X&G together, I saw the bond that I knew I'd been looking for my entire life. Sometimes I'm still not sure whether it exists or not--or whether it exists in this world for everyone or not--but it gives me a dream to cherish in my heart. And just that dream makes all the difference.

Lorenzo? I hope you don't mind if I use your name, since I think I'll have trouble spelling your username. Hi, I'm Alicia (or Elsie...at the con all the fans called me Elsie and it felt natural to just introduce myself that way.) Welcome! I think you asked a couple of good questions. First, does the fandom have a place for a straight guy, and second, does the fandom have a place for someone who's not a subtexter? I can answer a resounding "yes" to both. (Selfishly, I'm very glad to see more guys in this huge, amazing family.) Actually, I've found through my entire life (not just my experience with Xena fandom) that gay, bi-, or straight doesn't make as much difference as you might expect. People are people, you know? Sexuality is important, but so is religion, culture, academic field of interest, introversion/extroversion...and a whole host of other things, and in the end we're all just human.

Regarding the relationship between Xena and Gabrielle, we have a whole spectrum of names for ourselves. There's "subtexter" where most who choose that label see Xena and Gabrielle as physical lovers; there's "shipper" for exploring the romance between Xena and Ares, "bitexter" (to take into account a bunch of the other relationships), "romantic friendshipper" (a fan who sees the relationship between X&G as the heart of the show, but as platonic), "horsetexter" (an XOC original...I'm not even going to try to explain it, just stick around and you'll understand), and I'm sure a whole host of other terms I forgot to mention. (I think we had a thread about that in the All Ships forum--you should check that one out if you're curious.) Some of us don't like labeling ourselves. A lot of us put on "subber hats" to make points, for example--writing from the perspective of someone who's a subtexter, even if we aren't.

EpTalk, you put this very well:

Each to his/her own....Miss O'Connor could have said anything she wanted in any interview and we had a lengthy discussion on the same interview you reference here at XOC (check it out maybe) that is example it doesn't really matter what ROC says now or then because since it still boils down to what we as individuals see, perceive, interpret and enjoy.

Oh, yeah. That's another debate I don't want to reignite, but the perspective I took away from the interview is that Renee O'Connor is a subtexter, Lucy Lawless is tired of being asked her opinion and doesn't have one, and the rest of us are free to take away whatever we choose (not that we wouldn't anyway, ).

Um, I think that with very simple stories, there are only a few interpretations you could walk away with that fit the stories (like, Gabrielle's parents were a couple...there really isn't enough screen time to make a different interpretation). With more complicated stories, you have more types of interpretations, and with stories of the depth that we find in X:WP, we have the most interpretations of all. A lot depends on what we want to see; a lot depends on who we see the characters of Xena and Gabrielle to be (what we believe they "would" do as we fill in the rest of the moments of their lives); and a lot depends on, um, the completely inexplicable way that characters live in our hearts. I had a funny experience at the Burbank convention. I had dinner with LK and two other amazing women, and none of us were subtexters (I think the two others were shippers...?) Then a few hours later, I was in the hotel bar chatting with Xenasgrrl, Lavender Jane, and Twinkletoes joined us later, and they were all subbers except me. Two different groups, two different (and perfectly valid) ways of seeing the exact same stories. I could say "help me understand why you see this relationship as romantic," and they could say, "how could you not see them as lovers," and we both came away understanding a bit better. I label myself a romantic friendshipper. A lot of that has to do with what I want to see. The most important relationships in my life now are platonic. With X&G, I feel like I know them, and so it's like I'm a part of that magnificent friendship (even though I'm watching from the outside as a fan). It's hard to describe, but it's something I love so deeply, that's such a huge part of my life. I wouldn't say that all gay/lesbian/bi fans are subbers (not by a long shot, like LK said), but I think I do understand the draw subtext would have for them especially. When I saw a relationship I'd always wanted, I was drawn to exploring it, and I saw it from a certain perspective that cemented itself in my mind. Once again everybody's different.

So yeah, it seems like everyone else is bending over backward to give you advice. (And normally I hate giving advice!) The fact that you're posting in a language that's not your first impresses the heck out of me...I don't speak anything except English. I guess I'd just advise you to post about topics that aren't controversial, just for a little while at first? I hope you'll find Xenites to be an amazing and understanding group of people (and I know everyone's been quite patient whenever I've put my foot in my mouth!).